Salt, Light and Egg Shells

Called to be Light and Salt for the Lord, is challenging while trying to avoid estrangement from my woke kids.

The last four years it has felt like my children and I are living in completely different worlds. What started with the difference of opinion during covid, quickly turned into realizing we had somehow developed totally opposing world views.

At the start of 2020 we were a close happy family, but by mid 2021 everything had changed. All three of my kids betrayed me and cut me out of their lives, even the 14yr old that choose her sister over me (Sister mother). All because I stayed true to my principals and personal beliefs, that I had raised them to also believe, or so I thought.

Time passed and things seems to be on the road to healing in my family, right up until spring 23, when a whole new nightmare appeared in my life, with the sudden announced from my only son that he is “trans”!

He told me that he discovered his new gender identity/ obsession two years ago, during lockdown in 2021 and he was quickly affirmed by his two proud, politically queer, social justice warrior sisters.

I was shocked! My first thought is maybe he is confused about his sexuality. To my knowledge he has never been kissed. Between his awkward autistic personality and the timing of getting caught at age 20, in the covid isolation era, when he should have been experiencing his sexual awaking while away at university, he has faced unfair challenges to figuring himself out.

But a girl trapped in his healthy male body, IMPOSSIBLE.

Before he told me his big secret, I had noticed he had developed an interesting dress style, belly button tops, flowy pants and grandma sweaters, kinda odd for a 23 year old young man, but I actually loved his confidence to express his cool non conforming sense of style. He still wore his ACDC t-shirt, jeans and a ball cap to work, and he's always had long hair, but still is very masculine.

I saw nothing wrong with his unique sense of self- expression…Until I started to realize that there was something wrong with the world.

I then started seeing the lies everywhere in the culture. Sadly, before that I never gave it much thought. I’m ashamed to say because both my daughters had FTM friends that I just went along without question. Thinking it is a sexual thing like gay and none of my business to judge or even try to make sense of.

I knew there were people that say they were transgender, but I didn't think anybody really took it seriously. I thought trans people were just that trans people and they didn't try to hijack the opposite sex . I didn't realize that people were being told literal lies, (that sex and gender are different things), in schools and online, since around 2010!

Being told that the bizarre impossibility that someone may have been “born in the wrong body”, and that it is just some kind of explainable, natural progression in human evolution, is ridiculous! And that unless you're a hateful bigot you should just affirm, accept, celebrate and go with the flow .

I really hadn't given this nonsense a whole lot of thought until it was standing in front of me in my kitchen, informing me that this is just how the world is now. My first reaction was “Don't be ridiculous, God doesn't put people in the wrong body!”

I didn't yet know God personally, but the words came straight from my soul. Then my son told me he didn't believe in God ( woke soul), because he knows how he “feels”! How he can somehow, impossibly “feel like a woman”, and that means he suddenly now just is one, so therefore he was made wrong! He further explained to me that thanks to modern “gender” science medicine, he can be his own creator with the help of a (monster) doctor. He says he doesn't need a “savior”, he's gonna save himself.

It made my blood run cold. I felt offended by the blasphemy, even though I hadn't been in church in decades and really didn't even understand what my own spirituality meant to me. But this felt dark and demonic. And when my precious gentle sweet boy told me he chose a new name, and his birth name I lovingly gave him, is now hurtful. And then I was given the choice of a dead son or another beautiful daughter!

Trying to make sense of this evil madness took over my life and ate me up. I couldn’t believe I was being called hateful for telling the truth and wanting to protect him. That accepting my son unconditionally meant that I would have to go along with a lie!

The next blow was to discover that it is literally illegal in Canada to question someone’s self declared “gender” as it is considered conversion therapy!! This is unbelievable! How can any parent agree to play along with this. I know the threat of suicide is terrifying, but it doesn’t take much research to discover that the rates are actually higher after transition, and that people are now detransitioning in growing numbers daily!

I have always been a natural health advocate, and have been warning him his whole life about the dangers of pharma chemicals, (even more since Oxycontin killed his grandmother). How he can now talk so calmly about taking dangerous experimental drugs, that he is willing to be dependent on for the rest of his life, in order to pretend to be something he can never be?! He spoke of possibly getting experimental mutilating surgeries to his healthy body as if it was no big deal, my mind was blown, and my heart broken.

How can he think that he has to change himself, to be himself?

How had I never seen any of this in him before? Where is this coming from?

The following year was a very dark time in my motherhood journey, I had so much guilt for not seeing this threat sooner. How could I have been so ignorant, and went along with this evil, ridiculous “trans” foolishness when it was other people's kids?

In my defense, I didn't realize they were being medicalized and told to pursue this impossible fantasy! How could I have known that pretending to be something you're not is now apparently how to be authentic!

For the past two years I worked hard for my honorary PHD in gender ideology (and Marxism), as I started to understand the destabilizing nature of so-called inclusion. If queer theory is behind all this, why are supposedly educated people so willing to fight for something that's just a unproven, scientifically impossible theory? It's bizarre to say the least, but the more I understood this madness, the more distant my son and his ally sisters pulled away from me.

At my lowest, feeling completely alone and abandoned in the world, I turned to Jesus. I didn't do it on purpose, a friend had posted a prayer, it was Good Friday 2024 and the prayer was asking for answers to my most pressing necessity…. And with my family divided and captured by this cult, I felt like my own life was on hold until I can find a way to save them. So in desperation, I gave the prayer a try.

And the most amazing thing happened, God answered me! Showed me that my son is and always will be my son. That he is completely normal, there is nothing wrong with him! I got the message loud and clear that it's my job as his mother to stand up for reality. I wouldn't have believed that it was Jesus except that I specifically asked Jesus for guidance and within minutes was directed to the answers. It brought me to my knees. Jesus is real! And prayers work!

That was almost a year ago, and not much has changed with my son's life plans… but I have changed. I am a new creation for Christ, my life does have a purpose! I have been called to be a solider in this battle for truth.

This business of my son thinking he's a girl is now part of my life story too. I now understand that it takes great suffering and heartbreak sometimes to shape us into what we need to be, to accomplish what God created us for; for His kingdom on earth.

I know all the pain will make the reward ever more beautiful when it arrives. So I am choosing to keep my sights on that great day of celebration in the future, when my son comes home, and not dwell too much on the fact that it will be darkest before the dawn.

I have been walking on egg shells trying to keep a connection with all three of my kids so to not become estranged, as the thought of not knowing how or where they are is a living nightmare. I have given it up to God; but, I can't just pray, and physically do nothing and watch as this destroys their lives. They might not wanna listen to me, but they will have to listen to the world if enough people are awaken to reality and this madness is stopped.

I know I have to be brave, stop worrying about the eggs shells, and trust Gods plan. He called me to this fight and with a federal Canadian election ahead, its time for me to stand up publicly and get loud, shining a light for truth. And to share my unique flavor of salt, because salt has no impact until it makes contact. Even though my children will probably completely disown me, for now, I have to do what I can and pray they will understand and maybe even be grateful when the blinders finally fall from their eyes.

This deep darkness that has torn my family apart can only be described as a spiritual war of good verses evil. As these demands for inclusion in the form of total acceptance of this new queer culture, is without any doubt the work of Satan.

To spite the pain, I am very grateful to now realize that you cannot serve two gods, it's either Christ or the culture. And I think siding with the divine creator, who made each of us amazingly, uniquely perfect and promises us eternal life if we just believe and follow Him…... feels like the safe side to fight for in this war for souls.