My Only Son

Writing an honest letter to you on your birthday

Doesn’t matter to me who you think you have turned into in the 24 years since you were born, but to me, you will always be the innocent, beautiful, perfect male child I brought into this world and named, and will love with my whole heart every day of my life.

I pray that someday we will be able to establish some common ground on the serious issues facing humanity in regards to gender beliefs. And that we will be able to discuss freely and respect each others opposing viewpoints. Meanwhile I am grateful for the recent and any future written communication and will agree to keep our debates on paper, to make the most of all precious time together as peaceful.

My heart breaks at the thought that you are in any pain due to struggling with who you believe you are now. I have known your heart since before you were born and I know that you are the perfect you, no matter what you think the world says. The only opinion that matters is yours, and I need to believe that every day is a new opportunity for you to radically love and accept yourself exactly perfect as you are. If you insist on believing in the unproveable, then maybe you were reincarnated from a female ancestor, and some of that feminine energy is coming through, and that’s beautiful, but doesn’t mean you have to change to align with that, you are already exactly who you were made as.

I am grateful that you don’t want to cause me any unnecessary worry or anxiety about your personal bodily choices, but its my job as a parent to worry, it just comes with the territory. I know you are technically an adult, but you will always be my child regardless, and it is not possible for me to separate the issues when it comes to your wellbeing.

I have done deep research into my concerns and I am only listening to professionals in the areas of medicine, psychotherapy, physiology, evolutional biology and also to trans-peoples lived experiences. And I have learned that so much is only now beginning to be understood, as the whole concept of giving people cross sex hormones is experimental. The concerns are now mounting fast with steadily increasing proof of harms, as everything from numerous deadly cancers, to serious heart, bone, brain and blood diseases and also extreme mental health issues, auto-immune diseases and even diabetes are being reported/ witnessed.

You think I am being mislead by false bigoted information, because so many people are “phobic” of anything that goes against their previously normal beliefs about gender and societal structures, I want to reassure you that is not the case. I am basing my options and views on pure facts, my own life experiences and my intuition. After much consideration, I can promise you that my views are my own, and I completely reject the idea that anyone is born is the wrong sexed body. I feel that gender expression is limitless! People can express their inner feelings and personality traits, whatever ways feel right to them. I agree that stereotypes need to be eliminated and we should all be free and celebrated as who we feel we are, and should never be made feel like we must change to fit into any box. I am sorry you think you have to change yourself to be yourself, but you are so much more than cloths or boobs. I have some male characteristics - like my strong opinions and that I don’t wear makeup, so am I really a woman? Of course I am! And if just because you want to present more “fem” and not behave “manly”, that doesn’t change that you are a male.

Intersex people are extremely rare and should not be held up as the example. They are born with a defect and will either choose to align as male or female. No one is both or neither, that is my choice to reject the made-up woke concept of non-binary. Its my choice to not believe in that, just as you can choose to believe it. It has to go both ways, as all this gender woo is based in only ideology and false dogma, not fact. If you want fact, then you must look at the scientific research and human biology that is etched in history for thousands of years. Men and woman were designed specifically different for a good reason.

I fully agree that you have every human right to bodily autonomy, as do I, and I am perfectly fine with you expressing your personality and gender expression however you need to, to align with what you feel internally. My only issue, as you know, is with the experimental risky synthetic medical intervention that you believe will actually change you into something that you can never fully be.

I do love you so unconditionally, and very much want to have a honest relationship with the adult version of you, my child, and would be totally devastated if we became estranged. But I am afraid we will just have to agree to disagree on the entire concept of trans identity. I will respect your views if you can also respect mine. Because as passionately as you feel about the reasons to accept these progressive new worldviews such as queer theory, I am as passionately against them.

When you tell me that you are not hurting anyone by persueing a trans identity, I must disagree. Woman mainly are being hurt by men claiming to be their equals and encroaching on their personal rights and spaces. I didn’t raise you to be entitled to something that’s not yours and I know deep down you know that. If you are choosing to be in this fight, then it sadly indicates that I must have done something wrong raising you, and I am struggling to believe that.

Even though you are an adult, the seeds of thought that altered your reality must have been planted in your mind during your young formative years, in school or online, otherwise they would not have flourished into forming your current views. I feel that is wrong and that it is the job of the family to instill values upon their offspring. As an adult, you are free to explore new ideas and follow whatever dogma you choose, but children can’t consent to irreversible decisions until their brains are fully formed. So I will continue the fight to see government remove gender policies from schools and public spaces , especially when it concerns minors. I am not trying to remove the rights of adults to express their personalities however the choose, within the limits of others peoples’ rights. But I do believe that young adults are being seriously harmed by the removal of gatekeepers that were there to assess the whole person and take into account all comorbities such as nerodivergent conditions such as ASD (autism spectrum disorder) or borderline personality disorders, or past traumas. Perhaps if the growing number of detransitioners had been treated with a therapy first model rather than thrust straight into GAC (gender affirming care), they would have found alternative remedies to their dysphoria before these irreversible medial interventions were given. That’s why I am working with a local and also a national group calling for a full systematic medical review of the current model.

This journey you are choosing to embark on has added to awakening my own journey as an activist. I can’t help my internal force that is pushing me into fighting against these progressive concepts that are trying to take the future in a dark direction. Gender is the biggest issue facing humanity and I feel called into identifying as a solider in this war against traditional values and human normality.

So as you told me, until I stop being consumed by all of this, you dont want me to dump it on you; so I will not discuss it further with you at this time. But I feel very strongly about standing for what I believe. So I will be vocal and public in my resistance to allowing these sexist new policies and regressive stereotypical views of sex characteristics and human biology to continue to destabilize and shape the misguided hearts and minds of the public at large.

You many not think I have a right to be in this fight, but I believe it is the responsibility of every human to fight for our right to maintain a heteronormative society, including homosexual rights and the parental rights to guide our own children, to all be respected .

If you believe that detransitioners are lying about their regret and negative experience, I would like to set up a meeting for you to talk freely and defend your stance as truthful, with an former mtf trans-activist, that has now detransed and has come to terms with his sexuality and proclivities and is happy to openly discuss how his beliefs have fully changed course once he started asking himself (and the system) hard, honest questions. He too claimed to be happiest after starting hormones in his twenties and lived as a woman for almost a decade before his health started failing and soon after that, his views shifted back to reality.

This whole ordeal has brought me closer to my faith than I have ever been in my life, and I welcome the comfort that I find in trusting that everything happens for a reason, even the heartbreaking things have lessons. I feel the deep love from my matriarchal guides pushing me to hold strong in my truth and never give up trying to bring you, your sisters and the whole world back to the reality that we are all perfect, imperfect as we are.