Legacy Quest

Every person is a bridge spanning two legacies; one they inherit and one they pass on.

As an only child to a single mother and estranged father, my developmental years were shaped by personal and inherited trauma. I can now see that this kept me in a cycle of self protection, leading to addiction and limitations, that stunted my personal identity growth and kept me living in my mothers shadow; even after her death when I was 43.

We each get just one blessed life on earth, but we don’t all necessarily leave a legacy that will remain once our ashes are scattered. Unfortunately, most of us dont realize until late midlife, that leaving any legacy is really each our own responsibility. And just how important it is to use our precious time making a mark on the world that is bigger than ourselves.

Maybe its because in our 50s or 60s we must face the reality that our remaining time is limited. If I passed now, what would have been the point of my life? What do I leave behind? My kids maybe, but unless they do something historic, they will only leave dust as well. I feel like there must be more to it, and perhaps our joyful pursuit of creating lasting legacy is the point of life.

When I lost my mother suddenly eleven years ago, the weight of the responsibility I inherited, to honor her legacy, fell heavy on my heart and mind. Feeling like her only hope, knowing she had a passionate quest to share her story, and sadly left this world without completing her mission/memoir; it has created a heavy burden I was naively eager to take on.

I took a course in memoir writing and got right to work, but soon realized you can’t write another persons story, I can only honor parts of her story through my memories and voice. So I decided to write my own story, as her daughter and that would also in turn make the selfless duty of carrying on family tales and legends, easier for my three offspring, should I, like my mother, expire before completion.

My writing journey started out strong in 2018, I even got a couple pieces published in an Woman’s Anthology in 2019- Deep Water Pearls. Then 2020 hit and inspired a huge roadblock that has flipped my life upside-down, and keeps evolving and continuing to distracted me, until now, thanks to rediscovering God, I can literally feel the shift happening.

I was lucky, I had a good loving mom, not perfect by any stretch but she gave me lots of solid roots to find connection with, and lots of strong beliefs, built on faith, common sense and gut instinct. I thought it would be enough by offering the same living by example, for my kids, I was so wrong. I vastly underestimated the dark power of the post modern threats of the internet and of woke ideologies, on our family bonds, beliefs, priorities and traditions.

Now, while I am being a good daughter, trying to document my mothers’ existence, struggles and contributions to the planet, I feel the weight of having to document my own life too, and not risk leaving my story untold, in hopes that one of my three offspring might take on the task. If not its over, as they have each declared not to reproduce.

Two progressive daughters and a gender confused son, all in agreement that children are too demanding both personally and globally. Their choice to pass nothing forward to the next generation, and terminate our linage, makes me feel as though the part of them that represents me and my ancestors are receiving an great injustice.

If my precious bloodline is ending, I feel overwhelmingly called to make my remaining time on earth truly valuable, maybe It is my job to leave a mark that will last. Or maybe I can make some kind of contribution to the salvation of my species, or at least add to their betterment in same way. Maybe telling my stories and raising my voice will not have an impact, or maybe it can help save the world that my kids have taken for granted; but I am not going to accomplish that by keeping small, worrying about offending someone or hiding behind the endless distractions and excuses.

I have (mostly) kept quiet in a pointless effort to heal the divide in my family, but it’s not working and time is running out. If I can’t reach them with logic, reality, unconditional love, and prayer alone, then maybe I’m meant to get louder (starting with this Substack), and actively add my voice to the brave others that also care about doing something valuable and worth remembering in future generations.

So I am doing it, I am writing my story as I live it! By getting loud and speaking up to fight back against the whole system that purposely created this divide to begin with. Those woke, so-called experts that are promoting the false Marxist idea that biology is not reality, and that temporary fleeting feelings matter over reality based facts.

Its time to embrace God, celebrate the family unit and the beautiful heaven on earth that is absolutely possible when you do the hard work.

Its past time to raise the global vibration of faith over fear and help free all of Gods children from this evil lie before it takes hold any stronger.